Getting Even

 

 

I wish I was writing about the wonderful, amazing, relaxing vacation pictured here, or even expounding on our world's natural beauty that God has just given us, as a gift, at no charge.

But I'm stinkin' angry. Jesus got angry, right? So it must be okay that I do. I'm the kind of "I-want-to-do-something-to-get-even-angry"!

I'm thinking that's not okay.

So, after venting to my husband, I made myself sit down and dig into The Word. But let me say inside I was kicking and screaming. I mean, I was WRONGED.

And on top of that, I was having such a good day too. (Can you see me pouting?)

My devotional this morning said there should be a "lightness" in my step that others can see; that Jesus' peace should be outwardly obvious to everyone I encounter.

So now I'm also angry that this incident, caused by this person, made the lightness disappear. Peaceful? Right. I blew it already, and it's only noon!

So back to The Word....The first verse I read that seemed applicable was Psalm 37:8, "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it only leads to evil."

Yeah, okay. Just stop being mad, right? That's a tall order. And it really didn't seem fair.

So I decided to break it all down, word for word, and this is what I found.

The first thing the verse said was "Refrain". When I looked it up, it turns out it means a lot more than I thought it meant. "Abstain from an impulse to say or do something." But that's exactly what I want to do! I deserve to at least SAY something to express my displeasure, right? Or at the least, send a well-written e-mail that doesn't actually SAY anything, but the message is loud and clear.

I kept reading...

So we have, "Refrain from anger..." Anger. Yep, I know what that is (and I'm a bit surprised I didn't see my picture next to the definition when I Googled the word). I found anger defined as, "a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong." There it was, "aroused by a wrong". So apparently the fact that I was wronged has no bearing on how I should react. My toes are starting to hurt.

"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath..." Wrath is, "strong, stern or fierce anger; deeply resentful indignation." Wow. That's a perfect way to describe how "the incident" made me feel...fierce and deeply resentful.

Almost done..."Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret..."

So I was left with "fret". I've always considered "fret" as a synonym to "worry". Those words are twins in my book. But apparently there's a lot more to that word than I thought.

I found "fret" defined as, "to torment or annoy; to wear away/consume by gnawing, friction, corrosives; to agitate". Well, that's really what my flesh wanted - to torment and annoy the person who caused "the incident". Nothing would make me happier than to "agitate" the crud out of this person. Or would it?

"...it only leads to evil."

Well, one thing I know, is that I don't want ANY part of that, and I do NOT want to knowingly bring that upon myself.  So, in the interest of self-preservation, I suppose I will stop scheming and planning my super-secret, highly-annoying retaliation plan. And somewhere along the way, I hope my Heavenly Father will look down and be pleased.

Maybe one day, my initial reaction will be to choose peace. Wouldn't it be great if that came automatically?

And get this...my co-worker (who was a witness to "the incident") just stopped by my office door and noticed that I'm smiling again. Maybe people do notice.

Oh, and about the picture of the beautiful view...I simply needed a visual image to remind me of just how peace feels....I suddenly feel the urge to plan our next vacation!