In Due Time

I'm trying really hard to get back on track with my quiet times and Bible studies, and thanks to my daughter's suggestion, I decided to give night time a try. I'm a night owl by nature, so why not?

I picked up my copy of "Jesus Calling" and turned to today's date to read the entry. I didn't really learn what the author intended, I don't think. She talked about how when things don't go as we would like, that we should accept the situation, knowing that God is in control of our circumstances, and we shouldn't let the impact of the world to distract us from our Heavenly Father. Good stuff!

Don't get me wrong, the topic was inspirational and encouraging, as always, but something else caught my attention tonight.

After reading the entry, I looked up one of the verses listed....I Peter 5:6 ~ "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time."

"In due time?" Seriously? Sigh. That's the hardest part for me! I want to be lifted up by Him NOW!!! ...Yes, I'm reverting to my two-year-old self. Why should I have to wait to be lifted up "in due time"?

Here's where it got interesting for me. What if, in this instance, perhaps the timing is up to me instead of God?

I sort of feel self-centered and sac religious for thinking that, much less typing it out on a keyboard.

But as I allowed myself the indulgence of following that train of thought, I learned something...

When I am down and feeling the need for Him to lift me up and I just sit and wait for it, honestly I'm sometimes disappointed. Where is He anyway? Why is He being so quiet?

But when I look beyond my self-pity, and actually make the effort to open His word, He never lets me down. I don't have to search and dig and spend a ton of time looking for just the right verse because He has woven it throughout His word just for times like these.

All I have to do is take that first step, and He's always so very faithful to take my chin in his hand, lift my eyes up and remind me of whose I am.

"...in due time." That doesn't sound so bad anymore.

One Perfect Night

Last night was a perfect night. I wasn’t in Paris or on a beach somewhere gazing at the sunset while holding hands with my husband. I was at home. Just home.

I struggle to explain it; it’s nearly impossible to put into words. It was like a beautiful, simple song…an evening of what were ordinary “notes”, but when strung together made an unforgettable melody. A song so perfect that it still resonates in my heart today, like one of those tunes that you just can’t get out of your head – only this time I don’t want it to leave. Perhaps that’s why I’m working so hard to capture it with words….

My afternoon started when I got off work and picked up my daughter from school. Her smiling face and bouncing steps as she approached the car said it all. She had a great day! My suspicions were confirmed when she hopped into the car and smiled at me. It’s been said she and I share the same smile. I can only hope that my smile brings a fraction of the happiness to others that hers brings to my heart when it makes its appearance (which is quite often). As we exited the carpool line, she informs me that she had a great day, one that was better than usual, and she wasn’t sure exactly why. I told her it was just a gift and let’s not question it, but be thankful for it. She agreed, as she proceeded to tell me all about her loose tooth that seems to be very happy right where it is.

I then continued my usual Monday routine – prep dinner (while drinking a very necessary cup of coffee), pick up the toddler, drive cheer carpool, pick up teenager from a friend’s house and then back home again.  

Teenager and toddler joined me for my workout walk around the lake, and for a 15-year-old boy, my oldest was very chatty. At the start of our talk, nearly everything he said I took the opportunity to interject my motherly “wisdom”, then I felt like God was telling me to be quiet! So I did.

I walked. He talked. And talked. And talked.  He stopped at the playground with the toddler so they could do boy things while I finished my final lap. When I returned, there they were playing and chatting with new friends they made on the playground. Nothing extraordinary. Nothing earth-shattering, but beautiful.

So we were off toward home, and when we got there, my hard-working husband had recently arrived and my neighbor was dropping off my daughter from cheer. As we all converged into the house and made final preparations for dinner, all were busy doing “stuff” but the chatter continued.

Then there was a rare moment where my teenager and I were again alone, but this time in the kitchen. He starts the conversation by telling me how he can’t believe that some parents just don’t care about their kids. I asked him what he meant and that’s all he needed. He proceeded to tell stories about kids who have gotten caught making wrong choices and there were no consequences at home, followed by, “If I ever did anything like that, I wouldn’t have one thing left….these kids are still on their phones, on facebook and hanging out with their friends.” Then he told me about other kids whose parents not only look the other way, but condone, behaviors we have deemed unacceptable. “What are they (parents) thinking?” he asked me.

This time I was silent and simply shook my head, not because I was at a loss for words on the topic, but because I was left speechless that in his own way he was telling me something stuck. He really has been listening – and watching – all these years. And I was filled with thankfulness and awe.

Dinner came and went, and it was time for the “B” team (my hubby and daughter) to clean the kitchen. They chatted and cleaned and then we all left for a quick family walk where some hand-holding and a kiss or two took place. We walked, we talked, we fed ducks (who were more interested in sleeping than eating) and returned home to bathe a very dirty toddler and start our bedtime routine, which includes snuggles with the youngest two. As my daughter and I went through our usual “best” and “worst” happenings of the day, neither of us could come up with any “worsts”….only “bests”. What a perfect ending to a wonderfully ordinary night.

You see, it wasn’t a star-studded night to perhaps anyone but me. It was a rare evening where I felt so very connected to each member of my little “clan” all in the same night. As I lay awake in bed while everyone slept it was so hard to close my eyes. I didn’t want the day to end. There will be more beautiful evenings, but last night’s melody touched this mama’s heart so tenderly that I never want to forget.